


Wild Motion

by zilchs



Category: The Monkees (Band), The Monkees (TV)
Genre: Also very sad, M/M, Weird, cerebral, mike is a strange little man, peter and davy r only mentioned sorry, shhsshebeuebeh, slight nudity but not sexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:28:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27025843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zilchs/pseuds/zilchs
Summary: Micky has always known how to love. He expresses it daily and whenever he can, as loud as he can. Mike just can't keep up.
Relationships: Micky Dolenz/Mike Nesmith
Comments: 12
Kudos: 16





	1. The Real World

Colors. Lights. Sounds. Magic. 

He heard sneakers slapping against pavement, registering the slight crunch of gravel. He shook his head and stars fell out of both ears. When he looked up, he met brown eyes hidden under long eyelashes. 

"Are you still with me, Mike?" Mike watched the words tumble out in the form of a waterfall. 

"All the way down the line, Micky," he replied, before Micky disappeared again.

-

Mike awoke to a sharp pain in his bicep.

"Mike, Mike, Mike," Micky accentuated each word with a poke in the older boy's arm. 

Mike blinked several times before squinting and looking at the drummer next to him.

"Go 'way, boy, you bother me," he groaned, rolling over and pulling the sheet over his head.

"Hey!" Micky ripped the cover off of Mike. "That's not very nice. I dreamt about you again. Dream Mike is much nicer."

"Go back to sleep, maybe you'll see him again," Mike pulled the cover over his head again.

"Dream Mike may be nicer," Micky spooned up behind Mike and nuzzled his nose against his dark hair. "But I like real Mike better."

"D'aw," Mike deadpanned. "What was dream Mike doing? 

"More like what were dream Mike and Micky doing," Micky grinned against Mike's neck and wrapped an arm around his waist. 

Mike rolled over to face the curly haired boy. He was grinning still, his bottom lip pulled in by his teeth. His eyes seemed to sparkle every time Mike looked at him, though they were sparkling even more now. Mike hesitantly reached out a hand and cupped Micky's cheek with it.

"You've always been so weird about touching me," Micky said, softly. "Y,know, like, romantically."

Mike went to withdraw his hand but Micky clasped his own over it. 

"Don't," Micky whispered. "Please." 

Mike wore a face of discomfort. 

"I don't really understand it," Micky continued. "But I'm willing to learn. Why do you have such a hard time showing me affection? You know I love you, do you still love me?" 

Mike gazed into Micky's doe eyes. He did, he did love Micky. Or maybe he convinced himself to love Micky. He wasn't sure how to express his feelings or how to organize them. He had never learned how to be so free with his love like Micky had. It upset him to his very core. 

Mike removed his hand and rolled over again.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore, Mick."

A few seconds later he heard bare feet gently slapping against the floorboards. The bedroom door shut gently and he was alone again.


	2. Suddenly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike remembers the first time he felt sunshine.

Mike didn’t know when it happened. He just had a collection of moments that made him realize he had feelings for his best friend.

-

Texas was hard. Texas was downright brutal at times. He knew he couldn’t be queer anywhere, but especially not in his little bubble of Texas. His whole life he’d been taunted for it, even before he knew what “it” was. So he built up a wall. Every mean and hateful word became a brick and he stacked them high around him. No one could touch him if they couldn’t penetrate the fortress. This, of course, meant that he also couldn’t touch anyone. He was trapped in his own defense system. As the years went by, the wall grew higher and higher and Mike grew colder and colder. It was hard to leave Texas. It was hard to leave his mother alone raising three younger kids. But he knew if he didn’t leave now, he would never leave. Everyday he felt guilty about it.

But then he was in California, living with three of the greatest friends he had ever known. Peter was naive, but endlessly kind. Davy was a tough little brit who was always willing to listen. And Micky was everything Mike had ever dreamed of.

Micky was warm. Micky was sunshine. Micky was fresh and new. Born and bred in sunny California, he always seemed to have a positive glow about him. Mike wanted to bask in it forever. He remembered the first time he fell in love with the younger boy. 

Peter and Davy were gone for the night. Mike didn’t know where, he just made them promise they wouldn’t be out too late. Micky opted to stay in, rereading the same old science fiction books he loved. Mike sat at the kitchen table, lazily scribbling in his notebook, but mostly gazing at Micky.

Mike was obsessed with the drummer’s looks. He didn’t look like anyone he’d ever seen before. Piles of curly hair that looked even messier when he just woke up. High and sharp cheekbones that made him appear slightly feminine. Almond shaped eyes that were now framed by big, round glasses. And his nose. His little pug nose squished against his face. Mike had written so many songs about him that he’d never be able to sing.

“Mike?” Mike was suddenly snapped out of his daydreaming.  
“Yeah, Micky?” He replied.  
Micky had set down his dog-eared paperback and was now leaning over the back of the couch, looking at the older boy.  
“Do you think I’m handsome?” Mike felt like he’d just been knocked off his feet.  
“I-uh, do you ask all your friends this?”  
“No, just you. I know you’d never lie to me.”  
“Oh yeah?”  
“Yeah,” Micky nodded fervently. “You told me we’d be rich and famous and now look at us!” Mike chuckled.  
“No, but seriously, Mike, I wanna know,” Micky said. “Am I handsome?”

Mike chewed his bottom lip, mulling over the question in his mind. Was Micky handsome? Mike didn’t think the word fit him very well. Micky was more gorgeous. Stunning. Beautiful. At times, extremely cute. Like right now, wearing his big round glasses and gazing at Mike innocently.  
But Micky couldn’t know that. If he told Micky he was beautiful, what would he even say to that? He could never know. But there was a sincereness in his voice and in his eyes. Am I handsome, Mike? Do you think I’m handsome?

“No, I don’t think you’re handsome,” Micky pouted, shocked. “I think you’re beautiful.”  
Micky flushed a deep pink and Mike knew he was in deep shit.

“Nesmith,” Micky grinned. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were flirting with me.” Bang. The words, the smile, the flirtatious affectation all shot Mike in the chest. He was in love with Micky and would have to deal with it for the rest of his lonely life.

“It ain’t like that,” Mike denied, closing his notebook. “It ain’t like that at all.”

And with that, he went to bed, leaving Micky confused and hurt in the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2nd chapter wehooo!!! this is a little ~flashback~ chapter i hope i made that clear enough ! mike has such a. hard time with his emotions Poor Guy


	3. Honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Words are spoken. Walls come down. A conclusion is made.

Everything was sparkling. Everything felt new. Mike blinked and when he opened his eyelids, he saw Micky looking down at him. He felt the drummer’s long fingers moving through his hair, getting out knots and massaging the scalp. His other hand moved down Mike’s chest. It felt so warm. It felt unreal.

“Micky,” Mike breathed, letting his hand float up to Micky’s face, holding his chin.  
“Hi, Mike,” Micky giggled, moving his hand back up Mike’s chest and over his neck. He rubbed his thumb over the Texan’s bottom lip.

Birds chirping. A calm breeze whistling softly. The sun shining high above. If this was heaven, he would die for it. All of it was perfection. It felt like a movie. Fiction, not fact.

Without speaking a word, Micky threw his leg over Mike, straddling his waist. Mike’s eyes traveled over the boy’s body. He was naked except for a sheet of powder blue chiffon that hung loosely around his thighs. His tanned skin was sparkling and incredibly smooth. He placed both hands on Mike’s chest, over his heart. Mike’s breathing hitched as the beauty in front of him leaned forward. His eyes flickered for a moment and he got closer, closing the gap between their lips.

It was a soft kiss. There was no desperation, no need. Just two puzzle pieces falling together perfectly. It was everything Mike has ever wanted. He closed his eyes, overwhelmed by everything he was feeling.

Suddenly, Micky’s mouth on his became too warm, too sweet, too sticky. He realized he didn’t feel the weight of the other boy on top of him. He snapped his eyes open and Micky was gone. So was everything else sweet and nice and new and sparkling. He reached up to his mouth and felt something sticky. When he looked at his fingers, he saw amber droplets attached to the skin. Honey.  
-  
Mike woke alone in his bed. He looked across the room and saw Micky asleep in his own bed. He peered out the window and saw a world of quiet darkness. Mike didn’t normally sleep the whole day away. He didn’t really think it was possible. Usually Micky would wake him up, wanting to talk, wanting to joke, just wanting to spend time with him. Why hadn’t Micky woken him up?

Mike felt sick. Was this it? Was Micky finally tired of him? Mike couldn’t afford to lose his best friend and occasional lover.

When Mike was a boy, his father taught him that he always had to be a man. “You have to be tough, Michael,” he would say. “You can’t continue being a pussy or no girl will ever want you.” Usually, Mike pushed all of the things his dad told him to the back of his mind. 

But he was right about being tough. He had to push through all the insecurities he had about love. He had to break down that wall and let Micky in. If he didn’t, he knew he would lose him.

He couldn’t wait. It had to happen now.

He threw the covers off and crept quietly across the room. Hesitantly, he stood over Micky’s bed, seeing his chest rise and fall with every gentle breath. No waiting. No hesitating. Quickly and quietly, he crawled under the sheets and into the bed, spooning up behind the younger boy. In a brave move, he wrapped his arm around Micky’s waist.

Micky purred appreciatively, still half asleep. Mike got in closer, almost rubbing his nose against the back of the drummer’s neck. Micky yawned sleepily and then he realized.

“Mike?” he murmured. “Better not be you, Davy. Or Peter."   
“No, it’s me,” Mike replied.  
Micky turned to face him and blinked a few times, his eyes adjusting to the darkness.  
"Mike? What's up, Mike?" Micky propped himself up on his elbow.   
"I need to talk to you," Mike said.  
A flash of concern went across Micky's features.  
"Sure, we can talk," Micky smiled.  
"Ok," Mike took hold of Micky's hand. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm really sorry. I do love you. And I really mean it." 

Micky, for once, was at a loss for words. Mike rubbed his thumb over the back of Micky's hand.   
"You're everything to me. I never want to hurt you."  
"You never have," Micky whispered.

Micky wrapped a hand behind Mike's head and pulled him to his chest. He planted a tender kiss to his head, stroking his thick black hair with his other hand. 

"I know you have a hard time with...this. With everything, y'know. But I can see you trying. And I know you love me. Wanna know how?" Micky placed both hands on Mike's cheeks and pulled him up to face him. "You put a roof over my head, for one. And you make me better. You push me to be better. You do that with all three of us. You're my favorite person in the world. I love you so much it's unreal."

"Oh Micky," Mike breathed. He rolled on top of the curly haired boy and peppered his face in kisses. Micky giggled and giggled until he was out of breath. 

"Mike!" He exclaimed, surprised. "Are you sure you're still yourself? Who is this man?" 

"Yes, it's still me. Just with a few more tricks up my sleeve," Mike replied.

Micky wiggled his eyebrows, a ran a hand down Mike's chest. "Oh yeah? Show me some more tricks, please."

And on and on it went. Pure honey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finished ! idk how i feel abt this end, but i had fun with the whole shebang :) hope u enjoyed


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